陈氏太极拳内功练习:双语经典爱情口诀：无奈“情场”险恶 爱与性的墨菲法则

1. 好伴侣都被别人挑去了。

All the good ones are taken.

2. 被挑剩下的，肯定有他们自身的原因。

If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.

3. 你越是优秀，人家离你就越远。

The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.

4. 别人爱你多少往往与你爱别人多少成反比。

The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.

5. 金钱换不来爱情，但却是保证恋爱成功的砝码。

Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.

6. 优秀男女终将修成正果。

Nice guys (girls) finish last.

7. 爱情高不可攀，趁早打消期盼。

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

8. 缘分就是个时间前后问题，终于决定投怀送抱了，喜欢的人却早已另择良木了。

Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.

9. 爱你的女人越漂亮，离开她时反而越不会伤心流泪。

The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

10. 做爱时间越短，老婆意见越大。

Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

11. 医治性爱的只有性爱本身。

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

12. 性爱就像下雪，你永远不知道自己能积多“深”，也不知道能撑多“久”。

Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

13. 家有老公一个，不思外面寻乐。

A man in the house is worth two in the street.

14. 贞操是可以“医治”的。

Virginity can be cured.

15. 妻子一旦懂得丈夫想什么，就不再“唯夫是从”了。

When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

16. 千万别和比自己还不理智的人上床。

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

17. 男人最能吸引女人的优点数年后反而成了女人接受不了的缺点。

The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.

18. 做爱要名正言顺，否则就是生活不检点。

Sex is dirty only if it's done right.

19. 每个月都要碰上那么倒霉的几天。

It is always the wrong time of month.

20. 灯一拉，所有女人都是美的。

When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

21. 性爱中最受歧视的两类人：害羞的人和丑八怪

Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.

22. （女人）在找到属于自己的英俊王子前，肯定吻遍了丑陋的青蛙。

Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.

23. 我爱芳邻，但小心别被抓。

Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.

24. 爱情是化学反应，性爱是物理反应。

Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

25. 做爱：不求更好，但求最好。

Do it only with the best.

26. 先下手为强，后下手遭殃。

One good turn gets most of the blankets.

27. 恋爱是场想象征服智商的胜利。

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

28. 爱过伤过也比从未爱过强。

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

29. 女人总忘不了她可以得到的男人，而男人总忘不了他得不到的女人。

A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.

30. 有女人的男人最招女人喜欢，没女人的男人女人则唯恐躲之不及。

Being taken attracts women. Being single makes them avoid you like the plague.

31. 打动女人芳心的关键在始料未及的时间为她送上始料未及的礼物。

The Key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time.

32. （给女士的话）不管你怎么苦口婆心，男人该是蠢猪还是蠢猪。拿他们真没办法。

(for the ladies) Try and try as you might, there will still be times where men are just assholes. We can't help it and we're sorry

33. 和理财一样，浪漫也得绕着数字转。

In Romance; and in Finance we play with Figures.

34. 如果不小心第一次约会就发生了关系，可以酌情不使用安全套。

If any things will happen on the first date, you won't have a condom.

35.婚姻是最伟大的杠杆原理。

Marriage is the greatest leveler.

36.一旦你面对两个都很不错的女孩，却犹豫地做出选择时，往往挑不中好一点的女孩。

If you're having difficulties choosing between potential two girls, you'll always pick the wrong one.

37.假如一个女生告你说“还是做朋友吧”，表明不再联络啦，你打人家也不接。

If a girl tell you "let's stay friends", she won't call ever again. If you call, she won't answer.

38.赴第一次约会前总会感冒。

You'll always catch fever before the first date.

39.千万别在后花园做爱，虽说爱情是瞎子，可你的邻居们一个都不瞎！

Never make love in your back garden. Love is blind, but not your neighbors.

40.女朋友对你说“你怎么老不说话啊”的时候，表明这段感情也即将玩儿完！

When you're girlfriend says that you have to talk the relationship is over.

41.一天你决定告你女友说“没了你我指定活不下去”，第二天她就离你而去。

The day you decide to tell you're girlfriend you could not live without her she will leave you the next day.

42.你越是想要女人，女人就越是对你没兴趣。

The more you want a women the least she will want you.

43.女的说：“贵东西不要给我买”，如果你照办，就等着分手吧。

When she says: "Don't buy me anything expensive" and you listen, expect to be single.

44.即使天下最美的女人也会招致男人的厌烦的。

Even the most beautiful woman in the world has at least one guy who is tired of her.

45.女人像艘船，需要不时的维修和保养，更会消耗大量的金钱。

Women are like boats: they require constant maintenance and attention, and they cost a lot of money.

46.有缘千里来相会，无缘说啥啥不对。

Good from far, far from good.

47. 独身的男男女女都是干材烈火。

Everybody is most horny when alone.

48.要说美不美，首先酒对嘴。

Beauty is directly proportional to the number of drinks consumed.

49.你爱的不爱你，爱你的不适合你。

The partner you want don't want you. The ones that want you are not made for you.

50.爱一个人就放他或她走，如果他或她一去不回，证明你的放手很有价值。

If you love a person let them go. If they don't come back they weren't worth it.

51. 现在可爱甜妹儿小心以后变恶婆。

Cute now equal annoying later.

52.不到对簿公堂那一刻，你是不会真正理解你的另一半的。

You never truly know a significant other until you meet him/her in a court of law.

53. 两个人坠入爱河可不是万有引力定律的错。

Gravity cannot be held responsible for 2 people falling in love.

54. 爱情可以是你至亲的朋友，也可以是你痛恨的敌人。

love can be your best friend and/or your worst enemy。

55. 所有人都相信爱情，但不肯定它是否存在过。

Everyone believe in love, but wonder if it exists

56. 离别长又长，爱情荒又荒。

Absence makes the heart go wander.