镇魂曲钢琴:老婆越苗条 婚姻越美满

最新研究: 妻子比丈夫苗条, 两人婚姻更幸福.

The four-year study of 169 newlywed couples found that husbands were more satisfied initially and wives were more satisfied over time when the fairer sex had a lower body mass index -- a common measure of body fat. The study was published in the July issue of Social Psychological and Personality Science.

这项耗时4年的研究调查了169对新婚夫妇, 发现当妻子的身体综合指数(该项指数常用于评价身体脂肪含量) 变低的时候, 丈夫的满意度会立即提高,而妻子的满意度也随着时间的推移而提高了.这项研究发布于7月的< 社会心理和人格>期刊上.

"There's a lot of pressure on women in our society to achieve an often unreachably small weight," said Andrea Meltzer, a doctoral candidate at the University of Tennessee and lead author of the study. "The great take-home message from our study is that women of any size can be happy in their relationships with the right partner. It's relative weight that matters, not absolute weight. It's not that they have to be small."

"在我们的社会体系中, 女性减重的压力很大, 她们希望自己可以瘦到大多数人无法达到的程度," 安德鲁梅泽说道, 她是田纳西大学在读博士生, 同时是该项研究的主作者.“这项研究让我们知道了一个好消息， 不论是什么体型的女性都可以收获幸福的爱情， 只要和那个合适的人在一起。 关键在于我们说的是相对的体重， 而不是体重的绝对值 。 并不是说， 她们都得小鸟依人才可以。”

Just how relative weight impacts marital bliss is unclear, but Meltzer has a theory.

然后， 相对体重究竟是如何影响婚姻幸福的并不是很明朗， 但是梅泽有一个理论。

"One idea is that attractiveness and weight are more important to men," she said. "That might be why we see this emerging at the beginning of the marriage for husbands, and their dissatisfaction might be affecting wives' satisfaction over time。“

The finding held up even when other marital stressors, such as depression and income level, were ruled out. But relative weight is not the only factor that affects marital satisfaction, Meltzer cautioned.

"Obviously a lot of things play into relationship satisfaction and this is just one of them," she said. "It's not a guarantee to be happy in a relationship."

”显然， 有很多事情都会影响感情满意度， 这（相对体重） 只是其中之一，“ 她说。”并不是说做到这一点就可以保证幸福美满了。“

Man and women tend to be happier in a relationship when the men are "more powerful in a benign way," according to Susan Heitler, a couple's therapist in Denver and author of PowerOfTwoMarriage.com.

当男性”良性的更为强大“的时候， 男女双方都会觉得更加幸福， 苏珊海特勒告诉我们， 她是丹佛的一位婚姻关系理疗师， PowerOfTwoMarriage网站的作者。

"The good news is there are many dimensions that symbolize power for men," she said, adding that height, weight, earning capacity, intelligence, education level, personality, even a big smile are all empowering traits. "Those signs of bigness lead to a subconscious feeling within the woman of more security and, in turn, more marital satisfaction."

“幸运的是， 总是有很多层面可以体现男性的力量， ” 她说， 补充例如， 身高， 体重， 收入状况， 智商， 教育水平， 人格魅力， 乃至一个大大的微笑都可以是力量的特质。 “这项彰显高达的因素会让女性潜意识的觉得有安全感， 这当然就意味着， 更加幸福的婚姻。”

The effects of marriage on weight, and vice versa, are tricky to tease apart. For women, unhappiness can often lead to weight gain -- a situation that both partners often feel uncomfortable talking about. But Heitler said using open-ended questions to understand the impact of weight changes on the relationship can help.

婚姻之于体重的影响， 或体重之于婚姻的影响， 很奇妙的相互牵制。 对于女性来说， 不开心常常导致体重增加 -- 这是双方都不愿意谈论的话题。 但是海特勒说， 用开放型问句来了解体重对婚姻关系的影响或许可以有所帮助。

Instead of asking, 'Are you annoyed that I've put on weight?' try, 'How do you feel about the weight I've gained?' Heitler said. "It's better to know if the weight bothers your spouse than to not have that information."

不要问“我变胖了你是不是觉得很烦？” 试试这么说“最近我胖了几斤， 你怎么看的？”海特勒说。 “了解下你的另一半是否觉得体重变化是个问题要比回避这个问题好的多。”

The importance of relative weight may vary between couples as well as between cultures. Ninety-four percent of the partners involved in the study were white.

相对体重的重要性在每对夫妇每个文化理念中都是不尽相同的。 本次研究中94%的夫妇都是白人。

"The emphasis on weight is an American and European value," said Heitler. "The finding may be very different among the black community. In Africa, weight is a sign of fertility and voluptuousness. Heavier women are prized in that culture."

“对于体重的关注是欧美价值观，” 海特勒说。 “如果是在黑人社区的话， 结果可能会非常不同。 在非洲， 胖代表着子嗣繁盛和家境富裕。 在那里， 女性是以胖为美。”

Similarly, older partners may weigh the importance of relative weight differently than younger newlyweds.

相似的， 相对于新婚夫妇来说， 年纪更大的夫妇衡量相对体重的重要性又会不同。

"The effects of relative weight could definitely change over time," Meltzer said, adding that all the couples in her study were younger than 35 years old. "As attractiveness plays less of a role, perhaps relative weight has less of an effect on satisfaction."